Thursday, December 31, 2009

2010 - already?

December 31st really snuck up on me! When I started this blog a couple of weeks I felt like I had all the time in the world to get all my thoughts organized and get all my pre-2010 posts up. Now I sit at the computer with only a few hours to go before my new year resolutions officially begin. Maybe learning how not to procrastinate or to manage my time better should be added to my list!

A couple of my resolutions are pretty self-explanatory. The reading the Bible in one year will take a true commitment to reading everyday, making it a priority and sticking to it. Getting involved in my church will take breaking out of my comfort zone, get over my shyness and put myself out there! I'll use this blog to journal my way through each of these.

The weight loss - that's a biggie. I've never had this much weight to lose and I'm nervous about it. Over the past few days I have been more conscious of my eating habits. I have a combination of all the worst habits one could possibly have!

I am definitely an emotional eater. I eat when I'm nervous and stressed. I eat when I'm depressed and I eat when life throws a wrench into my well thought out, well planned out day. I also eat when I'm happy too. When something good happens or there is any kind of special occasion, how do I celebrate? With food of course!

I also am a nibbler. I nibble and snack all day long, sometimes out of boredom and sometimes just because food is in front of me and looks so delicious. When I nibble I repeatedly go back to the bag of chips and have a few here and a few there instead of limiting myself to a set portion of these not-so-great-for-me snacks. There are days when I haven't had a real meal at all just a belly full of high calorie, high fat, high carb snacks (and the occasional crusts from my daughter's sandwich).

Another mistake I make which is part of the reason for the above bad habit, is while I plan out all of my dinners for the week and I plan to make sure there are breakfast and lunch options for my children, I do not plan for my own meals at all. Before grocery shopping I don't make sure there are healthy breakfast, snack and lunch options for myself for the week.

I am guilty of not exercising nearly enough. Over the summer after having my second daughter I was the biggest I have ever been. It was depressing to have to borrow a much bigger size of clothing than I was accustomed to needing. Notice I said "borrow" - I refused to buy anything! And occasionally I would squeeze into an article of clothing way too small (and I currently still do!). I was determined to lose some weight so I started walking. On nice days I pushed the girls in a stroller and occasionally would go on a more brisk walk by myself after my husband got home. On most days, however, I did the walk from home workouts on the exercise on demand channel on tv. They were great. I had finally worked my way up to the 3 mile workout, had lost 10 pounds and had gone down one dress size. I'm not sure what happened but one day I was too busy to get my workout in and then the next day was the same story and the next and the next. It has been almost four months since I exercised.

My determination over the summer proves I am capable of losing the weight. I have to set my mind to it, make it a priority and truly want it. Losing the weight is not simply about getting down to an ideal number or fitting into my ideal size. I want to be healthy and feel good about the way I look. I want to have more energy to keep up with my girls. I want to do everything I can to make sure I am around for as long as possible. And I want to set a good example for my girls. I want them to see a mom who feels good about herself, who is not constantly struggling with her weight, and who cares enough about herself to take care of herself. I want to be an example of staying fit and eating healthy.

Details - my goal is to be down to 140 lbs by May 1st, 2010. I will set smaller monthly goals to keep track of my progress. My first mini-goal will be to lose 5 lbs by February 1st. I will do weekly weigh-ins starting tomorrow so every Friday I will post my weight.

Comments and words of encouragement are welcome - just please be nice!!

Happy New Year everyone!

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