Randomness

This morning I came across this blog post "Something Has To Give" over at (In)Courage. I really love this site but even though it is saved as a favorite I don't always remember to check it daily. But today the Lord definitely meant for me to read the post. Does it take away all my feelings of being overwhelmed? Well, no, but I at least feel a little better about it and am reaffirmed of my biggest priority.

For some random thoughts, I made some zucchini bread yesterday. I love zucchini bread and look forward to making it each summer. And my whole family loves it as well! Even though it does have sugar I feel like it is at least somewhat healthy for them since it is full of zucchini. Zucchini bread can count as a vegetable serving, right?

Leftovers - I'm stuck about what to do with them. Don't get me wrong I know my weight gain mostly has to do with not exercising and partaking in all the cakes, cookies and desserts (as well as chips, fries and Chick-fil-A) we've had so much of recently but my other "weakness" is leftovers. Like most families we are on a budget and the food bill is one area I am always trying to cut back on. It almost kills me to see food go to waste so when leftovers are reaching their expiration I find myself overeating just so it doesn't go to waste. Sometimes eating leftovers is not so bad because I do try to cook healthy meals for the family but leftovers are no longer a good thing if I'm eating a little bit of several different meals and end up eating what should be 2-3 meals worth of food!! I figure I need to either figure out a way to cook just slightly less so there aren't as many leftovers hanging around or to build up my willpower to eating only what I "should" eat and to be okay with throwing away a little.

The Ugly Truth

Sometimes the truth is ugly - very ugly...

and I'm not talking about the horrible lack of a pedicure. That was a quick and easy fix. The number on the scale not so much.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now. I feel like I have so many different things I want to do, goals I want to reach and of course there is everyday life that needs my attention. I'm struggling with setting priorities and finding a balance among all of these.

Somewhere along the way of this journey of my new year resolutions I got off track. I wish I could pinpoint the moment it happened but I've tried and I can't. I'm not sure if it was a gradual process or if one decision did me in. I do know I am having a very difficult time getting back on track and not with my weight loss alone but my daily reading, staying on top of regular household duties, work, and of course spending time with my family. Time is going by way too fast. Too many times I go to bed with a list of promises of what I will get accomplished the next day and too many times none of those accomplishments happen. Too many times I put off sitting with my girls to do something fun in order to get the kitchen dishes done or the laundry folded. Before I know it the day is gone and the opportunity is gone with it.

More than anything I want my girls to have memories of spending fun, quality time with their Mommy. More than anything I want my girls to trust I will always have time for them as they grow up. In order to be the best Mommy I can I know I have to take care of myself as well. I have to find little bits of time for myself here and there in order to stay sane and focused. Unfortunately there will always be other responsibilities I can not ignore such as work and keeping up with the house. And believe me, it's not like I have high standards of an orderly house - I wish I was as particular and detailed as other people I know sometimes!

Am I rambling? Am I making any sense in this post at all? Can you understand my dilemma? I'm sure what I am feeling is a common feeling among moms whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom. Life as a mom is overwhelming at times. I'd love to hear how other moms balance it all or at least handle the feeling of being overwhelmed!

Statistics

I knew it had been quite a while since I last posted - I had no idea the last post was April 16th!! I knew I had not posted at all in May but mid-April?? Well here I am, I have not given up on the blog or even my resolutions although my actions would not say the same.

I read online that 40-45% of the population makes one or more new year resolutions. Of that only 46% are maintaining that resolution after 6 months. I'm barely part of that statistic.

I can't say I have done much the past month working towards my weight loss. A walk here or there. A salad here or there. And that is about it. Amazingly I have maintained my weight for the most part. I've fluctuated between my lowest of 147 lbs. the very first of the month to 151 lbs. - my current weight. Typically I weigh myself everyday and once I see the number going up a pound or two then I try to have a good day or two.

The desire to get down to 140 lbs. is definitely still there. Unfortunately the drive has not been. I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet. I may not have reached my goal of 140lbs. by May 1st but I still believe I can do it by the end of the summer.

Let's see - for my other resolutions. Reading the Bible all the way through in a year is definitely not going to happen. I am so far behind on that goal there is no way to catch up. But one positive that has come of the resolution is that I can say I have read something everyday. Whether it is a hand full of verses to go along with my daily devotions or a chapter or two, I have read everyday. (I'm sure there has been a day here or there in which I may not have read but I can honestly say only a hand full of days total.) I have really liked my One Year Chronological Bible and will definitely set this same goal next year. And if I can get my act together maybe I can finish up the year doing better than the first part of the year.

We still have not attended Sunday school but we are definitely getting more involved in our new church. I was baptized and became a member May 16th. Samantha, my youngest, was baptized this past Sunday. Gabrielle is registered for VBS and I have volunteered to be a family group helper as well. I am going to our Women of Faith Bible study on Monday nights and I am getting to know more people as well. July is when the new Sunday school year starts at our church and I am determined to start Sunday school then.

Life has been busy and hectic and I'm learning to cut myself a little slack from time to time. Life will never be perfect - I'll certainly never be perfect - but I do keep trying to better myself, getting healthier and in better shape and to strive to have a closer relationship with God.

I'll be back soon with an "official" weigh-in. Wish me luck with finding that drive and motivation I had at the beginning of the year for all my resolutions!!